One of the nicest parts of delivering stuff all over the place is the lovely scenery and nice places I get to see. Also lots of lovely dogs and animals (not cats). Of course though not all dogs are lovely, often due to their owners and the way they are or have been treated. Sometimes they are just doing their job as they see it - guarding the property and/or owner, albeit it over zealously.

I've been quite lucky really as getting bitten by a dog kinda goes with the territory of the job. Whilst we are not paid to take risks we can't hide every time a chihuahua
barks at us. Sometimes the issue can be unforeseen other times all too obvious.

The other day I arrived at a farm and two border collies circled the van whilst I sat in it. One going clockwise, one anticlockwise. Meanwhile a third dog sat impassive, watching. What do you do? You have a delivery to make. Are the dogs going to be okay when you get out of the van? Are they ALL okay or is one a bit of a nutter? You can see these three, are there more around the corner? In the first instance I beeped my horn to see if anyone was about. No one was. Then I tried ringing the customer to see if I could ask them about the dogs. No answer. In the end I risked it with a bit of trepidation. They were okay. Although as soon as I got back in the van two of them tried to bite my rear tyres and it made manoeuvring risky: 'You're parcel's in the shed–beside the run-over dog. Sorry…'

This kinda thing happens every day. I got bitten over a year ago on a hot day when the customer had left his front door open to cool the house. The customer was on the sofa and as I opened the gate I saw him let his dog run out. It ran straight out and bit me on my thigh. He asked if it bit me, whilst I walked around in circles crying out 'It bit me, it bit me. Fuck, it bit me.' – which I thought should have been a giveaway. The man shooed the dog (a border collie) into the house, asked if I was okay and whether I needed any water or antiseptic etc. I said yes please, at which point he realised that he'd closed the door after the dog and of course after being sat on the sofa who wears their keys on them? Yep, he'd locked himself out of the house. I limped away, leaving him to is and sorted wound cleaning in the local co-op car park.

There but for the grace and all that, it could happen every day. But it doesn't. And most dogs are great–If you follow my Twitter feed or Instagram you'll know I regularly put up pics of dogs I see whilst I'm out. I didn't take one today. Yup, I got bit.

It was a strange one. I went up to the house and they didn't use to have a dog (I've delivered there before). The dog was on a long leash (basically the length of the garden) and was sat by the door. I hardly noticed it until I got near the door. The dog (another border collie) lay down disinterested. I knocked on the door. It is sometimes then, when you go to the door, that they do get bothered - protecting their entrance and all that - but no, the dog remained disinterested. The customer came to the door. I chatted with him. The dog stayed lying down. I even said I'd managed to get past his guard dog and he laughed. It was sometime after this that the dog darted up (perhaps he was offended by my 'guard dog' jibe) and bashed into my knee. It came out of nowhere, the speed was rapid. I swore a bit and felt my knee bashed and bitten. As it happened he'd at least gone high enough that it went through my shorts, which would have afforded a little protection. Only one tooth got through and pierced the skin. It could have been worse - there was no clamping of jaws! The customer had only had the dog three weeks, it was a rescue dog and they were 'just getting to know it' – I guess they learned a little more today. All I got for my troubles was a baby wipe to clean the wound and a bit shook up.

Needless to say for the rest of the day when this happens you remain a bit more concerned around dogs than you are normally. At one farm a dog which does have an attitude was being a bit too close at one point - I'd mentioned the incident to the farmer and he said the only one he worries about if that one - it then snapped at my arse. I could feel the nose against me. Luckily the teeth missed thought they gnashing together audibly. The farmer shouted at the dog. Personally I think maybe if he worries about it, then maybe he should, at the very least, hold on to him whilst visitors are there doing him a favour! No? In future I will bring the parcel into the front at this farm and stay in the van.

Then on my last delivery a house with an open door. When I was half way up the garden a black dog came careering down the stairs outside and straight at me. I used the parcel as a defence between me and his snarling mouth before backing out of the gate. I'm not sure whether that one was going to bite me or not. But I wasn't going to take a chance. The woman said 'don't worry he doesn't bite' but they all say that before they follow up with 'well, he hasn't done that before' or 'it's the hi-vis' (not sure how they see that from upstairs).

Hopefully I won't get bitten for another year - or, even better, ever again. Maybe #DailyDeliveryDog will be back tomorrow. Fingers crossed (whilst I still have all ten of them).